


The Bagel Basket

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [46]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bagels, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 15:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7806688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: WE HAVE A LOT OF MINI BAGELS</p><p>johnn: MANY BAGELS</p><p>little lion: AT LEAST 12</p><p>johnn: I counted we have 160 bagels</p><p>laf: WHY</p><p>laf: WHERE</p><p>laf: W H Y</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bagel Basket

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to the bagel!anon on tumblr that gave me the idea for basically this whole fic
> 
> my tumblr: lol-phan-af

**johnn** : HEIST  
  
**little lion** : I HELPED WITH THIS ONE  
  
**laf** : I want a divorce  
  
**laf** : where can I turn in my resignation papers to knowing both of you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
**johnn** : nO NEED FOR THAT  
  
**johnn** : WE JUST STOLE SOMETHING  
  
**laf** : okay then where can I turn in my resignation papers to washington bc he's in a meeting rn and I gotta flee the country asap so I'm not charged as an accessory  
  
**johnn** : it wasn't a bAD SOMETHING  
  
**little lion** : WE HAVE A LOT OF MINI BAGELS  
  
**johnn** : MANY BAGELS  
  
**little lion** : AT LEAST 12  
  
**johnn** : I counted we have 160 bagels  
  
**laf** : WHY  
  
**laf** : WHERE  
  
**laf** : W H Y  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm so glad I don't work with you guys tbh  
  
**little lion** : ABSOLUTELY RUDE  
  
**little lion** : ANYWAY SO THE STORY IS THAT BASICALLY WASHINGTON GOT A TON OF MINI BAGELS AS LIKE A THANK YOU TO ALL OF US FOR WORKING FOR HIM I GUESS  
  
**johnn** : WHICH I DONT UNDERSTAND BC WE BASICALLY SPEND ALL DAY JUST FUCKING AROUND  
  
**johnn** : NOT JUST US BUT LIKE ALL OF US  
  
**laf** : true  
  
**little lion** : SO BASICALLY I HEARD JEFFERSON IN THE LOBBY LIKE """"haha I got a ~~~personal~~~ text from washington telling me about the bagels,,,,I heard they're ~~~~gourmet~~~~""""  
  
**johnn** : they're not he literally just got bags of em at the store and poured them in a basket  
  
**little lion** : sO BASICALLY ME AND JOHN WAITED UNTIL LAF WAS IN THEIR OFFICE BC THEY WOULDN'T'VE LET US DO THIS  
  
**laf** : I would not have  
  
**little lion** : AND WE WENT IN BEFORE JEFFERSON COULD GET THERE AND STOLE ALL OF THE FUCKING BAGELS AND NOW WE'RE HIDING THEM IN MY OFFICE  
  
**johnn** : I'm here to watch him get caught  
  
**little lion** : you're here bc this was partially your idea and you love me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : hA #exposed  
  
**johnn** : ANYWAY  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : alex please  
  
**jmadzzz** : nope nevermind  
  
**little lion** : why and why  
  
**jmadzzz** : thomas is IN MY OFFICE making me suffer bc everyone knows you stole the bagels and I was originally asking you to return them but then he started ranting about other things and he insulted my shoes so he deserves to suffer  
  
**little lion** : what's wrong with your shoes  
  
**jmadzzz** : they make me in an inch taller than I already am  
  
**little lion** : honestly I'm with jefferson on this one  
  
**jmadzzz** : excuse me  
  
**little lion** : my significant other is 6'2" and wears heels more than they don't  
  
**little lion** : I need a step ladder just to kiss them do you understand my struggle  
  
**jmadzzz** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : I GOTTA GO  
  
**jmadzzz** : goodbye alex  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : me and madison are like bros now I don't like it  
  
**johnn** : it's kinda cute  
  
**little lion** : hOW is it cute  
  
**johnn** : idk it's not like you ever like Hated him Hated him bc he was nice he just had jefferson draped across his entire body 25/8  
  
**little lion** : yeah that's true  
  
**laf** : are you two still in his office  
  
**johnn** : yeah  
  
**johnn** : this is cute too it's really quiet and we're just lying here  
  
**laf** : don't you both have work to do  
  
**johnn** : I did a lot of work yesterday I can afford this  
  
**little lion** : and virtually I have all my paperwork done until early november given nothing changes drastically at a rapid pace  
  
**laf** : god you amaze me anyway I'm coming to your office bc I want bagels and I'm bored  
  
**johnn** : JOIN THE BAGEL REVOLUTION  
  
**little lion** : R I S E  
  
**more like HUNKules** : this group chat makes me want to go to church  
  
**laf** : honestly same  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : DID HE ACTUALLT  
  
**johnn** : WHY DID HE HAVE THOSE ON  
  
**laf** : DID HE HAVE THOSE WHEN WE WALKED IN THIS MORNING  
  
**little lion** : N O HE DIDNNIDNDNT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WHAT  
  
**laf** : JEFFERSON COMES INTO ALEX'S OFFICE  
  
**laf** : ON FUCKCINIFNF  
  
**laf** : r O L L E R S K A T E S  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH MY GOD  
  
**laf** : and heS LIKE " I KNOW YOU STOLE THE FUCKING BAGELS"  
  
**johnn** : AND IM HIDING UNDERNEATH THE DESK WITH THE ENTIRE BASKET TRYING NOT TO LAUGH BC I CAN SEE HIS SKATES  
  
**laf** : ALEX IS SITTING ON HIS CHAIR  
  
**little lion** : AND IM LIKE "DO YOU /SEE/ THE BAGELS" AND HE GETS MAD AND HES ABOUT TO LIKE CIRCLE MY OFFICE AND IM LIKE LMAO YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO DO THAT  
  
**little lion** : AND HES LIKE """"AND WHY NOT""""  
  
**johnn** : THEN I FUCKING COME OUT AND IM LIKE ~~~HI THOMAS~~~  
  
**laf** : HE FUCKING SCREAMS AND FALLS DOWN  
  
**johnn** : ALEX LAUGHS SO HARD THAT HE FALLS OUT OF HIS DESK AND FALLS ON ME AND WE FLIP OVER THE BAGEL BASKET AND HES LIKE WHAT WAS THAT  
  
**laf** : THEN JMADS  
  
**little lion** : OUR SAVIOR  
  
**laf** : COMES AND DRAGS THOMAS OUT OF THE ROOM  
  
**johnn** : thEN ALEX THREW A BAGEL AT HIM AND IT HIT HIM IN THE STOMACH AND HE SCREAMED AND MADISON DROPPED HIS ARM BC HE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD  
  
**little lion** : THIS IS THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER DONE  
  
**johnn** : IM SURPRISED WE HAVENT BEEN FIRED YET  
  
\---  
  
**aaron colder than ice** : I will give you 70 cents for one bagel  
  
**little lion** : these are worth at least two dollars each  
  
**aaron colder than ice** : false I looked it up they come in bags of ten for $7 which means they're 70 cents each  
  
**aaron colder than ice** : I'm already paying you for something free alexander I'm not paying more than necessary  
  
**little lion** : why do you even want one  
  
**aaron colder than ice** : bc I'm hungry and desperate and I have 70 cents are you going to take it or not  
  
**little lion** : fine  
  
**aaron colder than ice** : good I'll be there in two seconds  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : maybe I should just quit and become a businessman  
  
**little lion** : or I could like own a supermarket  
  
**laf** : for specifically stolen bagels??  
  
**little lion** : right okay nevermind bad idea  
  
**laf** : I am your impulse control  
  
**little lion** : yeah I know  
  
**little lion** : you said I amaze you tho  
  
**laf** : you do  
  
**little lion** : so  
  
**little lion** : I'm not saying that I'm crying but  
  
**laf** : you're literally lying on us we can see you  
  
**johnn** : you're getting tears on my shirt  
  
**little lion** : deal with it you love me  
  
**johnn** : more than words can say  
  
**little lion** : oh my god  
  
**more like HUNKules** : he's sobbing now isn't he  
  
**johnn** : yes  
  
**johnn** : my shirt is never coming back from this  
  
**johnn** : honestly tho I don't mind it alex is worth it  
  
**little lion** : it's like you're trying to kill me  
  
**little lion** : do you want this office to flood  
  
**laf** : as long as you're okay honestly I wouldn't care  
  
**little lion** : yeah okay  
  
**little lion** : I'm slingshotting myself into the sun  
  
**johnn** : he literally said it out loud as he typed it and then rolled over onto his stomach and screamed into the arm of the couch  
  
**johnn** : it's only eleven in the morning  
  
**laf** : and he's asleep now  
  
**more like HUNKules** : he didn't sleep last night like at all  
  
**laf** : our dear alexander  
  
**johnn** : laf is braiding his hair now  
  
**laf** : it's really soft and easy to braid I lov it  
  
**johnn** : same tbh  
  
**more like HUNKules** : are you gonna wake him up anytime soon  
  
**laf** : yeah bc my thighs are asleep and as much as he needs it he can't sleep all day  
  
**johnn** : if you can find some way to leave then I'll stay with him until he wakes up  
  
**laf** : I don't want to leave him  
  
**laf** : I just said that he can't sleep all day bc then we won't sleep tonight  
  
**laf** : not that he ever does  
  
**johnn** : but your thighs are asleep and mine are awake and ready to Support Him  
  
**laf** : okay then I'm gonna get up for like five minutes and eat those bagels bc we need to get rid of evidence  
  
**more like HUNKules** : y'all worry me  
  
**johnn** : thE MORE THEY FIND THEY HARDER THEY GO ON YOU  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THAT'S DRUGS NOT BAGELS  
  
**johnn** : WE DONT KNOW WHATS IN THESE  
  
**laf** : I do feel kind of !!  
  
**laf** : that could just be bc I love alex a lot tho and seeing him asleep and being taken care of makes me happy  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you guys are so cute it makes me sick  
  
**laf** : love you too Hercules  
  
**more like HUNKules** : <3 <3 <3  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : WE GOT BUSTED  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
**johnn** : ALSO WE GOT YELLED AT BY ANGELICA  
  
**more like HUNKules** : wait angelica works with you??  
  
**johnn** : yeah but she works like on the the other side of the building and doesn't like getting caught up in our nonsense  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that makes sense  
  
**johnn** : so basically she came in and just fuckign,,,,,tOOK the bagels  
  
**johnn** : burr payed alex three dollars for four bagels even tho the deal was originally only one bagel  
  
**johnn** : and alex ate six and I had like eight  
  
**laf** : I've eaten twelve and am in Pain  
  
**johnn** : same tbh but like that's 30  
  
**johnn** : plus the one alex threw at tjeffs  
  
**johnn** : we barely even made a dent in the bagel basket  
  
**laf** : :^((((((  
  
**johnn** : they were good bagels tho  
  
**laf** : true I consider this a success  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you got rid of 31 bagels and you're saying that you barely made a dent are you kidding me  
  
**laf** : kinda??  
  
**laf** : we didn't make a VISIBLE dent  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you astonish me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I have things to make goodbye stay pure  
  
**laf** : byE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BAGELS ARE GONE  
  
**laf** : YOURE AWAKE  
  
**little lion** : YES BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BAGELS ARE GONE  
  
**laf** : ANGELICA TOOK THEM FROM US AND LEFT  
  
**little lion** : DID SHE SAY ANYTHING  
  
**laf** : NO  
  
**little lion** : I WANT TO STEAL THEM BACK  
  
**laf** : NO SHE WILL KILL YOU  
  
**little lion** : thEYRE PROBABLY BACK IN THE BREAK ROOM  
  
**laf** : SHE!! WILL!! KILL!! YOU!!  
  
**little lion** : UHGHG FI NE ILL LIVE  
  
**laf** : THANK YOU  
  
**little lion** : I still want those bagels tho  
  
**laf** : END IT

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to all the people that have messaged me on tumblr and commented and stuff I have cried Many Times over it I'm so emo tysm!!


End file.
